Thoughts.....

I'm sitting here on a Wednesday morning and we are having some pretty nice thunderstorms right now. They aren't scary, just nice. It's always nice to feel the cooler air outside and hear the rain and know that we won't have to water our yard for at least another week! :) In the summertime, that makes me happy!

I really don't know where to begin to talk about my personal issues. All I can say is that I'm going through a very rough time right now. Something just isn't right with me. I'm being very proactive about it and taking steps to feel better. I've been angry with my doctor and very persistant too! I think that I even had the nurse on my side yesterday on the phone, so that's a plus! I mean, why else would she suggest breaking my pills in half to up my dosage? LOL! So yes, once again, I'm questioning my thyroid dosage. My levels are "normal" according to the labs, but the range of "normal" is so big! That's why I am trying to work my way into the lower range of "normal". It's only then that I think I will feel better. I know my body better than anyone right? This shouldn't be a big issue with the doctors, but it is. Lab results don't tell the entire story. I think once in a while, they should ask, "So just how are you feeling?" Ugh. I'm not resting until I regain full control over my health. I don't like feeling icky.....especially when I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful children, and two cuddly dogs to love. ;)

My thyroid isn't the only issue right now. Since it is out of whack though, it's causing my hormones to go crazy. That could be another reason why I don't feel so good. So, we'll just have to wait and see how that all plays out. In the meantime, I'm going to talk to my OB/GYN about switching my anti-depressant. I've been on the same one for years and I think it might be time for a change. That can't hurt either, right?

It's so hard for me to accept that I have issues.....health issues. I know it's not a big deal and yes, I can get help and if I don't get the help that I want, then I can just find another doctor. But the bottom line is that there's something wrong. That bothers me. I have no control over it. I just have it. It's not like heart disease or diabetes. I can't control it with diet and exercise. It's just there. But what I can do is take control of my life and insist on getting all of the right answers. I also realize that I need to de-stress my life, so all of the Yoga that I have been doing is helping tremendously. I used to just live to work out. Now I work out to live. It's funny how that has changed. I think that fitness is a bigger part of my life now than ever before. It makes me feel good. It helps me cope. It keeps me sane. And that is good.