Poor Bubba.....

Thanks Margaret!
**************************************************************************

Bubba liked to frequent the old swimming hole but was never able to attract the girls.

He decided to ask his friend Billy-Bob for advice...

"It's those big baggy swimming trunks that make you look like an old fool....they're years outta style.

Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos-about two sizes too little and drop a fist-sized tater down inside them.I'm telling ya man...ya'll have all the babes you want!"

The following weekend, Bubba hits the swimming hole with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato.

Everybody at the swimming hole was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning way, laughing, looking sick!

Bubba went back to his buddy Billy-Bob and asked him, "What's wrong now?"

"Lord-Almighty!" said Billy-Bob, "The tater goes in the front!"

Closet memories....

We were at my dad's during the Christmas holidays. When we stay there, we always sleep in my old room. I still have so many things up to remind me of my childhood. After we got married, I never took them down or took them with me. My dad never changed my room either. I don't know what he would do with it anyway! LOL!

One morning, I noticed that the closet door in my room was a bit open (and it's a big closet). Instead of closing it, I opened it and staring me right in the face were dresses. Dresses of my past. Let me make a list of what all I remember seeing in there.

-My mom's wedding dress from 1965.
-A flower girl dress from my cousin's wedding (Susan and Ron) that I was in in 1982.
-My sister's flower girl dress from my aunt and uncle's wedding (Sandra and Gary) in 1983.
-My junior bridesmaid's dress from my aunt and uncle's wedding (Sandra and Gary) in 1983.
-My Confirmation/8th grade graduation dress from 1991. My mom helped me pick out this dress before she died and she loved it, so it's so important to me. I also wore this dressing in May of that year because I was chosen by my classmates to be the one to crown Mary for the May Crowning.
-My bridesmaid's dress and my sister's bridesmaid's dress from our cousin's wedding (Cheryl and Scotty) in 1993.
-My prom dress from 1995.
-My graduation gown from 1995.
-My bridesmaid's dress and my sister's bridesmaid's dress from our cousin's wedding (Roxie and Darren) in 1997.
-My veil from my wedding in 1998.
-The box that my heirloomed wedding dress is in from 1998.

I think that about covers it. There were a few dresses of my sister's in there too from various Homecomings and Proms.

I can't believe that so much time has gone by. It seems like just yesterday.......

My wish for you in 2007.....

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!

May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.

May the problems you had, forget your home address!

In simple words........

May 2007 be the best year of your life!!!

I knew it!

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Thanks Jen!

Thursday Thirteen.....

13 random thoughts/happenings/fiascos/adventures that we endured during the Christmas holidays.....

1.) We left on Sunday morning. Richard worked the night before. He was tired. Then when we got to my cousins', he started drinking. By 5:00 that evening, he was ready to collapse. He said that he was fighting to keep his eyes open after seeing gift after gift after gift. LOL! We got him into the car and he slept the entire way home. Kyra rode with Papoo to Victoria and Maeve watched DVDs in the back.

2.) However, later that night, he did finally get up and since he was still "abuzz", he wanted to "like me more than usual." LOL!

3.) Christmas morning, we went to church and my dad proceeded to tell me that the priest that we had was just ordained a few months ago. He was awesome.....very well spoken. He swayed back and forth when he spoke and was very into his sermon and the Mass overall. What an awesome experience we had seeing him preside over his first Christmas Mass.

4.) My sister and BIL came to my dad's (Christmas is also my dad's birthday) and we had the traditional hot dogs with all of the trimmings for lunch. LOL! Yummy!

5.) The kids got a loot of gifts from my sister and BIL and my dad. Remind me to give Lisa and Nathan's children plenty of gifts that are LOUD and contain LOTS of pieces. ;)

6.) We went to MIL's house to find that Richard's cousin from Alabama was down. Richard was so funny. He was like, "Is that Ashley sleeping on the sofa?" His mom said, "Yes." Then he scared her half to death by yelling at her to get up. LOL!

7.) Once again, more loots of gifts. Overall, Maeve wasn't that into the gift opening. She was more into stealing others' gifts. LOL!

8.) BIL said that he "forgot" my gift at home. I think that he "forgot" to buy one. So, I got my gift the day after Christmas....a slew of Bath and Body Works stuff and a $40 gift card to Victoria's Secret. WTF? I'll take it! Honestly, I'm wondering if he was trying to make Richard look bad. ;)

9.) Christmas night was relaxing. Kyra spent the night at MIL's and we took Maeve back to my dad's and put her to bed early. We just sat up and talked.....just Richard and I.

10.) We went to pick Kyra up yesterday (on the 26th) and then came back home. We were so flippin happy to be home. I longed to sleep in my own bed. I felt icky because I ate and hadn't exercised since Saturday, so Maeve and I went for a 4 mile run. That felt good.

11.) By last night, my house was trashed. I didn't care. The kids were happy. They were busy playing with their toys and out of my hair! LOL!

12.) I love Christmas and all, but hate the aftermath. I feel like I have a Christmas hangover. There are still toys everywhere and toys that need to be taken to the consignment shop. We have too many of them. Oh, and the laundry! We were only gone for 3 days! I swear it never ends.

13.) I go to the gym today to teach and I weigh myself. I always weigh on Wednesdays on the exact same scale. I pray that the scale gods are very kind to me. I step on today and see that I'm down another 2 lbs. WTF? I've lost 4 lbs. in a little over 2 weeks. Damn I hope this trend continues. That 10-15 lbs. that I want to lose doesn't seem so unrealistic now.

Hope your Christmas was filled with joy and surprises! And Happy 2007! May it be your best year yet!

This will have to do.....

Dear Kyra and Maeve,

I see that you two have been very good this year. You deserved a bunch of nice presents under the tree. I hope you like them. Remember to continue to obey your mommy and daddy and always try to do your best in everything that you do. Santa likes that.

I have a lot of houses to visit yet. I must make my way to Jayme’s house and then to Jake’s house too. There have been a lot of good little boys and girls this year that need Christmas presents too.

I love you! Have a Merry Christmas!

Love,
Santa

PS- Rudolph says “Hi”. Did you hear him on the roof last night?

**********************************************************************************
I typed it on Word and put the letters in red. I also put a picture of Santa at the top. Kyra will love it.

Santa will have been here by morning! ;)

World's shortest fairy tale....

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy,"Will you marry me?"

The guy said, "No".

The girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.

***Kim's note: I'm sure this would happen if you'd never have kids too! LOL! ;)

Um, isn't Christmas for the kids?

I am in toy hell. Sure the kids have lots of toys, but never in a million years did I think that my own HUSBAND would have so many damn toys.

He just added a saxophone to his collection. Why? I HAVE NO IDEA. He ordered a DVD and some sort of "guide" to go along with it. One thing is for sure. The sax is LOUD. We have our "shop" totally closed in and insulated. It's basically a room. You can watch movies on surround sound and not hear a thing in the house. But the sax? You can hear that from Kyra and Maeve's rooms which are at the front of the house. Earplugs anyone?

He also has a small "john" boat. He has not one, but TWO guitars. He also has a 30+ gallon fishtank and he's on the hunt for a 55 gallon one.

WTF is wrong with him? What kind of illness does he have?

If there's a cure, I will pay BIG MONEY.

HELP!

And then there was ink.....

Richard ordered a new printer from Walmart online. It arrived today. It replaced the POS (piece of sh!t) printer that we had before. Compared to that one, this one is smokin'! Now I can make me some address labels again!

Maeve is getting into EVERYTHING today. I said, "Richard, she's driving me bonkers today." He said, "Well you know, trash goes today so if you want...." I know. That's mean. We are good parents. I promise. (Don't worry....she's still here.) ;)

You did what?

Kyra just came over here and told me that Maeve needed to go potty, so she took her clothes off so that she could go and put her on the potty. WTF?

Now Richard is frantically chasing Maeve around and trying to re-diaper her. Ugh.

I'm NOT surprised that Maeve just stood there and let Kyra take her clothes off. She'll let Kyra do anything to her. Kyra could put makeup on her and she'd sit still and let her do it.

Kyra said that she REALLY thought that Maeve had to go potty because Maeve was pointing to the toilet! LOL!

Maybe Kyra will train Maeve in a few months. That'll make my job a lot easier.

Kind of reminds me of this little incident. Remember that one? ;)

Uh oh, it's that *word* again.......

Today I picked up a copy of this for my dad. Then I picked up a copy of this for Kyra. I must say that the pictures in these books are breathtaking. I only wish that we would have been in Victoria that Christmas. But we weren't. We were in La Grange at my sister's for Christmas Eve and then on Christmas Day, we went to Cypress to Richard's uncle's house. Yet we heard all about it and saw pictures of it for weeks....if not months. I'm still heartbroken that we didn't get to see it.....mostly for Kyra. Kyra prays every single night for snow. I just hope one of these days, God answers her prayers.

Shortly after we moved here on Valentine's Day 2004, it snowed. Kyra was almost 3. I doubt that she remembers it. I do have some pictures around here somewhere though of Kyra and Richard outside in it. It was just a dusting of snow....nothing like what South Texas had that Christmas.

So, here we are. We are less than a week away from Christmas and they are talking about snow again. This time up here in Central Texas. I would LOVE for it to snow here, but please let it happen while we are here! We are leaving on Sunday and returning on Tuesday. I would be heartbroken yet again if it snowed at my house this time around and we weren't here to see it. I keep praying that one day, one time, the stars align and we are right in the midst of all of the snow.

I still don't think it will be cold enough for snow this Christmas. But stranger things have happened. In 2004, Christmas was on a Saturday. That Tuesday before, the temperature in Corpus Christi was a balmy 82 degrees! Can you believe that?

As for Christmas plans, we are leaving on Sunday morning for Schulenburg. We'll be there through Christmas Eve night. Then we'll drive to Victoria. We'll spend Christmas Eve night there and wake up on Christmas morning and go to church. We'll spend part of the day with my dad (it's his birthday) and then go out to Richard's mom's that evening. We'll stay that night at my dad's again and then come back home sometime on Tuesday.

LOTS of fingers crossed that everyone is safe and HEALTHY this Christmas!

One week away.....

Christmas is one week away. Lately I've felt like the day would never arrive. But now I can't believe that it's next week! Everything is bought, but somehow I don't feel prepared. I don't know why. We are making Christmas cookies as a family this evening. The girls are so excited. Maeve has already claimed the sprinkles and is carrying them around everywhere! LOL!

So I went to Walmart early this morning (like 7:30 early) just to exchange a gift for a larger size. Richard said that Maeve needed one of those mini Magna Doodles. So I walked back into the toy department and immediately chuckled. There were boxes EVERYWHERE! All of the employees were putting more toys on the shelves. I guess they anticipate a big week. Either that, or they had a big weekend and needed to restock.

Kyra has school through Wednesday. I'm glad. She'd be bored here at home if she were already out.

I think we'll venture around the neighborhood tonight and look at lights. Then we'll drive our way around some other neighborhoods later this week.

I suppose that Santa will come on Saturday morning. We'll leave on Sunday morning to go to Schulenburg. More details on that coming up later.

When all else fails, brag......

Miss Maeve is testing my limits. Often. I think the terrible two's have hit quite early. My good friend, Daryl has told me to focus on the positive about my precious little girl. It's so hard these days. But instead of blogging about the negative, I do choose to accentuate the positive. *gulp* Here it goes.

-When she wakes up in the morning, she wants me. She gives me her blankie and then wants me to pick her up out of the crib. She wants to snuggle. So I sit on the sofa with her....my feet propped up. I turn on the TV and just hold her. She lays on me for a good 5-10 minutes. I savor this time with her. It's the only time of the day when she's still. I think that she does this because we nursed for so long. It's all that she knew how to do when she'd wake up. So even though we're done nursing, she still wants to snuggle. *sigh*

-Her babbling has turned into talking! Sure she sounds like she's speaking in Chinese most of the time, but familiar words are becoming more frequent. The other day she couldn't find me, so she said, "Mommy.....where are you?" LOL! She'll pretty much attempt to repeat anything. It's quite funny.

-She can climb on the swingset slide all by herself and slide down all by herself! YAY! This is HUGE! Kyra did this at a young age too, but I think Maeve's climbing abilities made this so easy to learn how to do.

-Separation anxiety is disappearing! YAY! She has warmed up to so many people (and dogs) lately. She now likes her Uncle Nate. She likes Raider. She had a blast with her "Aunt" Melissa and "Uncle" Dean last night (her Godparents). There's no doubt in my mind that she'll be ready for preschool next fall.

-She loves to dance. This kid gets down and boogies. She loves the dance studio where Kyra takes dancing. She's welcome to take dancing there when she potty trains....even if she's not 3 years old yet. I can totally see this as a bribery tactic! LOL!

-Christmas is magical for her this year. She's totally into Santa and the lights and decorations. She points them out when I put her in the jogger for my run. I've decided that one night this week, I'm going to put her in the stroller and take her around the neighborhood so she can see everything lit up close. She'll love that.

-Her blue eyes still captivate me. I sit in awe of her. I still can't believe she's mine.

-Her big belly laugh is infectious.

-Today she walked around the house with a bucket on her head. She had no idea where she was going. She was bumping into things and laughing hysterically. Again, she's weird, but I love her.

I feel much better now. I'm off to cuddle with my Mama Bear.

To get you in the holiday spirit.....

If you've never seen "The Polar Express", watch it. It's been on ABC Family so many times already and I never get tired of watching it. I still tear up when they all start singing, "You better watch out, you better not cry......" There's something very magical about this movie. It makes me want to be a kid again and relive the times when I really did believe in Santa. *sigh*

Long term memory....

The other day, Kyra drew a picture. This is exactly what it says, "Gane, I lov you bot I am sad id you are in Hivin." Translated, this says, "Granny, I love you but I am sad is you are in Heaven." She even drew a picture of a cemetery with a picture of Granny "in a box" as she likes to call it.

First of all, the picture brought me to tears. It's just so sweet to see this. I remember the last time I spoke to Granny. She said, "Kyra will never remember me." Well, I think that this is proof that Kyra does remember her.

Kyra prays for Granny a lot. I used to say, "Oh Kyra, Granny's not sick anymore, so let's pray for someone else." Now I don't say that. When Kyra prays for her, I know that she's thinking of her. She prayed for her tonight in fact.

When Granny passed away, Kyra was days away from being 3 years old. Since she remembers her funeral so clearly, I think she was getting her long term memory. One of the earliest memories that I can recall was my sister being born and being a baby. I was almost 3 too. So I guess that it happens around that age.

I love the fact that Kyra is writing sentences now. She has some pretty interesting things to write about too. In fact, we are running out of paper in the house. ;)

TV at its best....

So this is my new favorite show. Richard and I watched it together last night. That happened by accident. Normally, the DVR tapes it and we watch it separately during the week whenever we have time.

This is by far the funniest show I've ever seen. It's simple and stupid. I love it!

We have all of the episodes taped so far. So if you want to catch up, shoot me a message or an email and I'll make a DVD for you!

I'm Tenderheart Bear....

	Tenderheart Bear You are thinker, organizer, peacekeeper, and leader all in one. You have a power to command attention and people listen to you. However, you are often so concerned about not hurting others' feelings that you don't tell them what they need to hear and this gets you both into trouble. But you always have loyal friends to help you out.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

Oh go away already!

This person is everywhere these days. In addition to her Food Network cooking show (which BTW I like....she should have just stuck with that), she has a new talk show (which BTW is VERY annoying), cookbooks, and even has her own magazine (WTF?). The other day I saw her face on just about every box of crackers in the store. Ugh. We get it. You're famous. But pretty soon your 15 minutes of fame will be up. And I can't wait until it is.

Mistaken identity....

I just accidentally opened an email on my Hotmail account that I intended on deleting. I have no idea who it was from, but this person said that they were waiting on a response from me because they had seen my profile and that I am a HOT MAN. WTF? LMAO!

For the record, I don't hardly keep up with my Hotmail account. It's for professional purposes only (resumes, etc.). And I don't update a profile with any personal information or pictures. That's why I had to laugh when this person acted like they "knew" me.

You know you're sick when.....

You vege on the sofa all day while watching Food Network and NOTHING sounds/looks good to eat. *sigh*

That's it, I'm crawling into my hole....

I think I'll hibernate until December 25th. Why? Because it's horrendous, out there. That's why. We left yesterday after school to go to the mall. Traffic wasn't bad. But there were some idiots out there that DO NOT know how to let people in when they are trying to merge into traffic. I mean, come on. Have a heart. Geez. I detest people like this. I think this is probably the #1 cause of road rage.

To make matters even worse, there was a holier than thou woman walking into JC Penney's while I was walking out. I had Maeve in the stroller and Kyra was walking beside me. I guess expecting her to hold the door for us was expecting too much. She just walked right in and didn't even blink an eye. She was an older lady too and that really caught me off guard. I would expect that from somebody younger. I thought for sure she'd get the door for us. I always do as a common courtesy....especially when I see that someone has a heavy load. I do it a lot for moms with kiddos because I know how they feel.

Oh and BTW, you should see the pic of the girls with Santa. Kyra's barely smiling (she told me later that she wasn't ready.....WTF?) and Maeve has her "deer in the headlights" look going on. They were in awe of the entire mall. They are so deprived. All they know is what W-A-L-M-A-R-T spells.

Christmas cheer, anyone? ;)

Santa is young.....

We had just come from the mall this afternoon after seeing Santa. Kyra asked me if Santa's mom helped him bake some goodies. I said, "Yeah and Mrs. Claus." We talked about what Santa eats. She said milk and cookies. We talked about Santa's helpers, the elves.

Then I ask her, "So Kyra, how old do you think Santa is?"

Her reply?

"Mommy, don't you know? He's 26!"

LMAO!

These kids kill me.

Thursday Thirteen.....

This is for Jen.

13 of my favorite Body Flow songs.....

1.) "Gabriel" by Lamb (BF 18)
2.) "Silence" (Michael Woods Remix) by Delerium (BF 19)
3.) "We're All Beautiful" by Joy of Living featuring Nitza (BF 21)
4.) "Center Of The Sun" by Conjure One (BF 22) ***There is also a remix on BF 32
5.) "Miserere" by Paul Schwartz and the Joyful Company of Singers (BF 24)
6.) "Just A Dream" by Delerium featuring Margaret Far (BF 26)
7.) "Dice" by Finley Quaye and William Orbit (BF 27)
8.) "After All" by Delerium featuring Jael (BF 28)
9.) "Here With Me (Rollo's Chillin With The Family Mix)" by Dido (BF 30)
10.) "Pilgrimage" by Conjure One (BF 33)
11.) "Anything But Strong" by The Eurythmics (BF 34)
12.) "God's Top Ten" by INXS (BF 34)
13.) "2 Hearts" by Sugababes (BF 34)

Ugh.

This is at our high school. I heard about it yesterday from a lady that was at Kyra's dance studio while I was there observing her class.

I'm numb.

*shaking head*

He's still around....

I went to Walmart today and did a little shopping. Imagine my surprise when I come across this little dude. It's Teddy Ruxpin! He was *the thing* to have in the mid-80s. I know that because my cousin Megan got one for Christmas one year. Teddy Ruxpin started a trend of many, many talking dolls. He's like the "granddaddy" of them all.

But Teddy Ruxpin's price tag hasn't decreased in value at all. He's $68.84 at Walmart. Yeah, he's all fancy now with books and software too. Shoot, I bet you can get him cheaper than that on Ebay. LOL!

Gibberish....

I'm alive. We just had a really LONG weekend. I also feel like rambling today, so here it goes.

-We went to Victoria this weekend. We got there on Friday evening. My kiddos spent the entire weekend with my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. I stayed at my dad's. Richard went fishing. It was a wonderful weekend. Everybody got a break.

-I came home this afternoon and the furniture in the living room is rearranged to look very nice. I think of how thoughtful my husband is. Then I realize that he has an alterior motive. He wants to put a BIGGER fishtank in the corner where the Christmas tree is. Ugh.

-Walmart was interesting this morning. I love this time of year in that place. People are either in a HUGE hurry or they take their sweet ass time with everything. I fit somewhere in the middle. This one man was talking to every lady that walked by including me. He claimed that he was shopping for his wife and his daughter. Yeah, I don't think he had either. I saw him several other times in the store by accident and he kept saying, "We meet again....". It was really freaking me out.

-Then I come across a sweet old lady that I swear had never set foot in a Walmart before. She came across the aisle with the Christmas dishes and said, "Oh my goodness! This aisle is so pretty! They have so many pretty colors in these!" LMAO! She was like a kid in a toy store. She was literally dumbfounded.

-I also came to the conclusion that greeting cards are WAAAAY overpriced. I'm now wondering how much greeting card writers make. I could come up with that stuff. No problem.

-I'm going to *attempt* to sit both of my kids down this afternoon for a Christmas picture in front of the Christmas tree. Pray for me.

-Oh, I forgot to mention that my 5 year old was having the meltdown off her life yesterday when we went to my mother-in-law's to pick her up. All she kept saying was, "I'm having a bad day....I can't quit crying." We.are.so.screwed.when.the.hormones.hit.

-I'm slowly but surely getting all of my shopping done. I'm almost there. I need to get caught up on my wrapping though....baby steps.

-Speaking of babies, I'm having a really hard time facing the fact that I don't really have one anymore (well physically anyway). I do have one rambunctious toddler who changes daily. Her features are changing. She's learning so much. She's talking. She's comforting. It's really amazing. Waaaaaa!

-On the heels of that last comment, I really need to STOP looking at ads in the papers for chihuahuas. I did it again at my dad's yesterday. Do I want one right now? YES! Can I handle one right now? NOOOOOO! Have you met Hurricane Maeve? Oh, and Jen, you need to knock it off too. Your emails of "Look at this...." or "Aren't these cute?" really don't help either. ;)

-I'm happy to report though that Miss Mia has lost a bit of weight. She looks good! A few people noticed this weekend. We changed up her diet a bit and control her portions better now. My dad says that he can now feel her ribs. LMAO!

-I honestly think that the Santa gifts won't get wrapped this year. I'm lazy. Sue me. I just don't feel like buying extra paper and hiding it too. I've heard of others that don't wrap Santa gifts either. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. My mom put all of our "Santa" gifts in trash bags one year! PIMP!

-I have a lot to do this week, but we aren't leaving town this weekend like we have the last two weekends, so hopefully I'll be around more. :)