Oprah makes me cry.....

I catch Oprah's show from time to time. Last week, they had a show about never giving up on love. They had a couple on there that were involved as teenagers and the woman got pregnant. They gave the baby up for adoption and parted ways. Years later, they contacted each other. Each had been through a divorce. They got to know each other again and fell in love. They eventually married. Their biological son had always been on their minds, so they decided to find him. One day, the woman was at a car dealership talking with another woman. She ended up talking about her long lost son and as luck would have it, the other woman knew exactly who she was talking about. They soon were reunited with their son. As if that wasn't enough to make me cry, this couple got pregnant with a little girl and decided to let their son name the baby. He named her Madison and they brought her out on the show. By that time, I was crying a river. Stupid hormones.

The next segment featured a woman that was stricken with cancer. There was a 1 in 50 million chance that they would find a perfect match for bone marrow for her (she had leukemia). Years ago, a man from the military signed up to be a bone marrow donor. He was contacted and donated his marrow anonymously, thus healing the woman completely and putting her cancer in remission. This woman felt the overwhelming need to know who had saved her life. She contacted him several times. He wasn't interested. One day, he decided to go and see her in person. He drove up to her house and she wasn't home. But her kids were. Soon, they finally came face to face. They talked and got to know each other. They developed a long distance relationship and before long were engaged to be married. I was crying again. I mean, what are the chances?

Do you ever think about everyone that you know and how you met those people? I have lots of friends that I met by accident or that I never would have met had I not made a decision in my life. Life is about decisions. Thank God we make them everyday.

Love comes in all shapes and forms. It knows no boundaries. You should NEVER give up on true love. It might be right under your nose or it might find its way back to you one day after years have passed. In the stories about, these people were not looking for love. Instead, it found them. So to all my friends that don't think they've found that true love yet, just be patient and wait. It will come. God will bless you with that special person and your life will never be the same.

Love is also abundant. It just grows and grows. It's possible to love more than one person at a time. It's human nature. We love in different ways. We love different people. All of our love makes the world a better place. I am often nervous about this baby in that I don't know if I have any more love to give my family. But, I've heard that with 2 children, the love just multiplies. It must be a wonderful feeling. I can't wait to experience that love.

Bottom line: If you plan to watch Oprah, always have a Kleenex box handy.

A different child....

The child inside of me is BEGGING to be different. I just know it. I remember all the prodding with the doppler to try to find her heartbeat. I thought that she was just being stubborn. Turns out, there's a reason why her heartrate is so hard to detect.

When I went to the doctor on Monday, I had noticed that they had written "anterior placenta" on my chart. I didn't think anything of it, but started to wonder when I got home. So, I looked up some info. on the internet. I also called my doctor today to ask her about it. Here's what's going on with my placenta.

Usually placentas are "posterior" or sitting behind the baby. Thus, the baby is in front and the placenta is toward the spine. Mine is "anterior" which means that it's in front....between my belly and the baby. The good news is that the placenta is high. If it were low, then I'd have to worry about placenta previa (the placenta covering the cervix). Placenta previa usually brings bleeding and bedrest. So, thank God mine is sitting high. They detected all of this on my ultrasound back in December. It must be somewhat common because neither my doctor or the ultrasound techs seemed too concerned.

I can still try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) with no problem. I think right now, my doctor is more worried about this baby's size. I'm measuring on schedule though. I always measured big with Kyra, so this is quite a relief. We shall see. Oh, and I read that with an anterior placenta, you are more likely to suffer from back labor. Lovely. Give me that epidural NOW!

I passed my glucose test and I'm NOT anemic (I was with Kyra). More good news!

I'm almost 27 weeks and moving right along. April will be here soon!

Aren't you glad you read my blog today? I'm sure you learned a lot more than you wanted to! But, I needed to vent and what better place to do it than here!

A week too late.....

My last blog discussed the great George Strait, but there's also another show happening this Friday night that I'm bummed about missing. Wade Bowen and Randy Rogers are playing at Schroeder Hall. For those that don't know where Schroeder is, it's just west of Victoria....one of those spots on the road. If you blink, you'll miss it. Richard's mom lives right down the road from there. I haven't been to Schroeder Hall since high school (I'm guessing). I definitely haven't been there since they have remodeled it. So, it's been a while. That was a high school hangout of ours. Richard and I had our first date there. My sister got left in the parking lot with her windows rolled down and was the only soul there after a dance. Weird. So, it's nostalgic. Oh, and the Dujka Brothers even play 1-2 shows a year there! Cool!

OK, back to Wade and Randy....I'm so bummed that I'm missing it. We were in Victoria last weekend, so we are a week too late. It's difficult to get down there as it is. We only go every few months. Richard wants to make a fishing run at the end of February in Rockport, so we might go back then.

Matt Powell now plays with Wade Bowen. Um, that's definitely an added bonus. Matt is awesome. I love him. Richard loves him. Richard has Nathan loving him too. Nathan heard his CD and was like, "Who is that?" So, he's hooked too. Matt and I share something in common. We are both left-handed. Matt is the guy with the guitar facing the other way....and I love it. I'm a little bummed that I can't play Richard's guitar for that reason. He's got one like everyone else. Mine would have to be a Southpaw guitar. Anybody want to contribute to my fund? hehe!

Kyra is actually a lefty too. We sensed it early on when she would grasp and pick up things with her left hand. Everyone told me to wait because she could change her mind. She didn't. She's definitely like her mama. I'm so proud of her because she's starting to write her letters and numbers. It's really amazing.

My song of the moment belongs to none other than Mr. Randy Rogers. It's "I Miss You With Me" and it's on his CD "Rollercoaster". We have it. You should too.

Amarillo By Morning....

Guess who's going to be at the Erwin Center next Friday? (hint: you can probably tell by the title of my blog) That's right, it's George Strait. The last time he was in Austin was 2 years ago and I went. You think being pregnant would stop me this time? Nope. BUT, the fact that the concert is on a Friday night has put me in a position where I can't go. Richard works on Friday nights. I think that Kyra would get pretty bored at a George Strait concert (and I wouldn't pay the money for her to go!). Now, if it were Barney or Dora, we'd be in business. But, I really don't care to see either of them. I do want to see George though! I'm sure my ex-neighbors Tom and Mona will be working that night (they work at the Erwin Center....why do you think I was so lucky to go last time?). I'm sure I'll hear all about it. George is easy on the eyes, but it's the music that I enjoy. I can sit back and sing with every song. I have to hear every country radio station talking about it this week too. Ugh.

So, I hope that George makes his way to Austin again soon. Last time, it was on a Sunday night....I hope that in future years they change it back to a Sunday night. Then I could GO!

Today's complaint: I've got a child that LOVES to stick her feet between my ribs. OUCH!

Have a great week!

Trainwreck......

I have to post the lyrics to this song. I am in love with this song by Sarah McLachlan. It's on her new album "Afterglow". The only reason I've become familiar with this song is because it's on the new Body Flow release that I'm learning right now (we launch in a little over a week! ACK!). I just think it's a beautiful song. Give it a listen.

Trainwreck
Would your love in all its finery tear at the darkness all around me until I can feel again until I can breathe again

Chorus:

'Cause I'm a train wreck waiting to happen waiting for someone to come pick me up off the tracks

A wild fire born of frustration born of the one love that gets me so high

I've no fear at all

Would your eyes like midnight fireflies light up the trenches where my heart lies until I can see again to find my way back again

Chorus

To fall so deep into you lose myself completely in your sweet embrace all my pains erased

From your mouth its all that I wish the mercy of your lips just one kiss until I can breathe again so that I can sing again

Chorus

***I think of only one person when I hear this song. I think we all love songs that we can relate to.

Have a great weekend! We are outta here on Friday afternoon!

The end is near.....

Jen emailed me and asked me how my teaching is coming along with this pregnancy, so I thought I'd ramble about that a bit. I'm now almost 26 weeks. When I was pregnant with Kyra, I quit teaching at 23 weeks because I had a dizzy/fainting spell and it scared the crap out of me. I should have blown it off and kept going, but I swear I was a different (read: crazy) person then. I was very depressed during that pregnancy and even after I had Kyra. Thank God for great, understanding doctors who believe in Zoloft! hehe!

This pregnancy is totally different. I feel absolutely fabulous. I want to keep exercising for as long as possible. It makes me feel great. I'm totally relaxed about things now too. I think the first time around the jitters just came from being a first time mom and not knowing what the heck I was doing. I feel more confident now.

I came home from teaching Flow last night and for the first time during this pregnancy, I could say that it was difficult getting through that class. Why? Because my freakin belly is IN THE WAY now! *sigh* I knew the day would come. It really makes me sad because Flow is my favorite thing to teach. I only teach 2 classes per week, but I love it. I plan to use the breathing techniques and listen to the music while in labor. It's so great. My plan is to teach Flow through February. So, I'd stop in March. That'll put me at 32 weeks. I think I'll have paid my dues by then.

As for my step class, I plan on teaching that bugger till the end. I hope I'm 38 weeks and still going strong. I modify and walk around the room as to not let my heartrate get too high. I also have 2 other mommies in my class that I have to keep an eye on. One is due in March with a boy and the other is due the day before me with her 2nd girl too! How cool is that? My entire class kids around with me and are asking me for the name of the hospital and the name of my doctor! hehe! They don't want me to quit either. We shall see.

I get a lot of "So when will you be back?" questions too. I honestly do not know. Adjusting to a schedule is very difficult with a newborn, so I'm hoping to go back when Maeve is good and ready. I'm thinking of taking at least 2 months off. Again, we'll play that by ear. It also depends on whether or not I have another c-section.

I don't really have a favorite song or CD as of today, but I did finish reading Jenny McCarthy's "Belly Laughs" while I took my glucose test this morning. It's a must-have for every pregnant woman! The things that she talks about in there are hilarious (and oh so true)!

So, April 30th is just around the corner and I am ready to meet my little girl! I cannot wait to see Kyra holding her little sister for the first time! I'm sure I'll be a teary mess!

Small town "feel"?

When we moved here in the summer of 2003, I was so excited. We were getting out of a bad neighborhood and getting away from the city noise. Ahhhh....finally a breath of fresh air. Well lately ALL of that has changed. The construction going on around here is unbelievable....and we have good ol Cabela's to thank for it. For those that don't know, they are building a Cabela's right off of 35 here and it'll be directly behind the eastern part of our neighborhood. It should be completed in late spring/early summer. I think the Grand Opening is set for July. So, in order to prepare for such a HUGE amount of business, they are widening Loop 4 (almost to our house), widening access roads on 35, creating more overpasses over 35, and all in all just making a TON of racket. I have no idea what else we are getting here, but I've heard something about a movie theater too. The church across the street just added 2 more buildings. There's now a dance studio right across the street from our house. This place is BOOMING! Pretty soon, it'll be like Round Rock around here. We won't even have to go to Austin for anything! hehe!

Honestly though, I still love it here. The schools are excellent. I dropped Kyra off this morning and they were having a "circus" in the classroom. There was a huge tent set up and animals everywhere. She WANTED me to leave! *sigh* I've heard nothing but good things about all the schools around here. In a year and a half from now, Kyra will be starting kindergarten. Where did my baby go? I'm happy that I have one on the way. I feel like I need to hold onto something because Kyra is so independent these days. I savor the moments that she crawls in my lap and says, "I love you, mommy!" I'll take those words any day of the week!

The cold weather brings the smell of burning fireplaces outside. I love it. We don't have a fireplace, but I love entering a house that does. It just gives me that cozy feeling inside. Of course, by next week at this time, we'll probably all be running the a/c again. Ugh. I hope the colder weather sticks around for a while. I love it.

We are going to Victoria this weekend. Richard's cousin is getting married and Kyra is in the wedding. I'll be interested to see if she'll walk down the aisle. We all know how she pouted all the way up the aisle at Lisa and Nathan's wedding!

I don't have a song of the moment. I have a CD of the moment. It's Matt Powell's "10 Gallon Heart". I must say that I like every single song on the CD. It's been getting airtime in our suburban this week. It's one that we always come back to.

Keeping it real.....

The Real World is in Austin. That's right folks, MTV's cameras will soon begin rolling starting this month. The episodes will air starting in June. I'm an avid Real World viewer, but lately the show is so boring and most of all PREDICTABLE! One person had an excellent idea....why not go all "American Idol style" and give us viewers a chance to vote on who will live in the house? Now that would be interesting.

Their living quarters were supposed to be "top secret" but aren't anymore. The secret is out. They are living off of 3rd and San Jacinto downtown in a yellow warehouse building (right around the corner from PF Changs, I'm told). So, if you are downtown expect to see some cameras following the housemates around soon. I'm sure the bars on 6th street as well as APD will know each of their names. Oh, and if you ARE on 6th street and hear some dorks saying, "Look at us, we're on the Real World!" just laugh and walk off. Chances are they aren't really on the show....especially if there aren't any cameras around.

I teach downtown twice a week and there have been numerous celebrities working out at the gym there. The latest was Crispin Glover, who was there a few months ago. Now I know you're asking yourself, "Who the heck is Crispin Glover?" Well, if you've seen "Back To The Future", you'll know. He was George McFly! Seeing this guy in person was something else. You should have seen some of the things that he was doing on the elliptical machine. SCARY! He's a tiny man too! He was there for a week straight and dressed in nothing but black sweats. By the end of that week, we were convinced that he's a freak!

I've heard that the new cast of the "Real World" is supposed to work out downtown too. Lovely. My friend Eric who works the front desk will be thrilled. Let's just say that he's the type of guy that will gladly get involved with a female roomie just to get on TV! I told him that if he does, he needs to use some sort of secret code on TV to say "hi" to all of us! He's such a nut! I don't put anything past that boy.

Oh, I'm adding a new segment at the end of my blogs. It'll just be a song that I like or am listening to at the moment. So, here's my first.

Song of the moment: Jack Ingram's "Goodnight Moon"

Great song! I highly recommend it. It's on Jack's "Acoustic Motel".

The more things change....

Within the last week, I think I've gone through a growth spurt. I feel HUGE! Some at the gym say that they've noticed. Some haven't noticed a change at all. Ugh.

Today I took Kyra to school and then came straight home. I felt horrible. Today the pollen must have been blowing in the air because boy did I feel it. I put my feet up and drank a ton of water. Allergy medications help minimally. Those of you that live in and around Austin...don't ya just LOVE Austin this time of year? I envy those that are immune to the pollens. I'm not. Being pregnant just makes it 10 times worse. Only a few more months.....

When I was pregnant with Kyra, I ate everything. I mean EVERYTHING. I had to have Mexican food and Whataburger Whatachicken at least once a week. This time, I'm repulsed by food. Isn't that weird? Yeah, NOTHING sounds good. When I have a craving, I jump on it because if not, then it'll go away and I won't want it anymore. I eat just to eat this time. Even the pizza cravings are gone now. I watch the Food Network (which I usually enjoy) and want to vomit. I guess the good thing is that I probably won't gain 40+ lbs. like I did with Kyra! So far I've gained 18. Not bad. At least my doctor hasn't yelled at me yet. Things are so different this time around.

As for the baby, she's playing "hacky sack" with my bladder. Lovely. She's also kicking inward toward my spine. It hurts! I DO NOT remember Kyra being this active all the time, so we *might* be in a lot of trouble.

We have decided that this baby's name will be Maeve Elizabeth. It's different, short, and fits well with Kyra Marie. We like it.

Angels.....

I think about this very thing all the time. I honestly believe that people come into your life for a reason. They are your angels on Earth. They guide you, direct you, and just do whatever they can to help you. I have many angels in my life. Most of them have something to do with where I am now.

First there's my friend Shannon. I hardly talk to her anymore, but she's a big part of where I am physically. Back in '94, she talked me into going with her to DeTar Health Center in Victoria. Little did I know that I would soon join there and start to exercise on a daily basis. This changed my life entirely. I was learning how to take care of myself and feeling better about myself....all because a friend almost literally dragged me to the gym.

Then there's Lynette. Sweet Lynette. Lynette was an instructor at DeTar and had the most AWESOME class. I met her shortly after joining DeTar as well. She was always so energetic and pumped about teaching. She's a lot of the reason that I decided to do it myself. Teaching changed my life. I came out of my shell and enjoyed the opportunity to change lives forever. It's my passion. I love it. As for Lynette, we email constantly and she's definitely the person that I want to be one day. I have the utmost respect and admiration for her. She quit teaching a long time ago but I'm glad that I got to know her outside of the gym. She's one of my best friends.

Next up is Kristen. Kristen introduced me to Richard. I had NO IDEA what I was in for! Kristen and I were best friends and she kept saying, "You need to meet this guy...." Finally I met him! Things got off to a rocky start at first, but here we are! Kristen is an amazing girl. She's been through more crap than people have in a lifetime! I'm so glad that she's so happy in her life right now! She's happily married with a beautiful little girl named Avery.

Then there's Jennifer. Jennifer and I met at a Personal Trainers Certification in Austin. We kept in touch and she's the reason I started selling Mary Kay. She's been a great friend. If I need a quick ear or some deep advice, then she's my girl! I'm so sad that she's moving out of state! She'd better get her booty back to Texas soon!

Janet is next on my list. Janet and I met while we were both teaching aerobics for World Gym, which later became Gold's Gym. Earlier last year, Janet and I became running buddies and talked about she and her husband's growing photography business. Janet asked me to start helping them with odds and ends and here I am! I've been with them over a year now and I LOVE it! It's so great to be doing something that I enjoy! I truly think that my yearbook days in high school are shining through! I'm lucky to work with such amazing people. I'm very thankful that Janet trusted me enough to give me such a wonderful opportunity!

These are the angels that have shaped me into who I am today. I honor them and thank them for all they have done. I only hope that I can touch someone's life just like they have touched mine.

You never forget your angels...whether they be from long ago or from recent times. My angels from long ago know who they are. I still think about them daily. There's no way I would be here right now if it weren't for them. They helped me out in the most difficult time in my life. Nothing is more traumatic than having a parent die when you're just a little kid. The pain subsides, but the generosity shown by those angels never leaves my mind. I thank God everyday for those special people. I was truly blessed to have such great friends. Again, they know who they are.

So think about the angels in your life and thank them. I know I have.

Little bit of heaven.....

Thank GOD for XMRadio! I now have a little more faith in the world! I'm sitting here listening to bands play LIVE at Steamboat Springs, Colorado. I listened last night too. They are broadcasting Wednesday-Saturday nights from 8pm-1am on X Country. It's XM Channel 12. Well, I don't have XM, but I signed up for the FREE 3 day trial. Problem is that mine expires on Friday night! That leaves Saturday night yet! So, I think I'll try signing up under a different email address. Yeah, that oughta work! LOL!

Anyway, so far I've heard Bleu Edmondson, Cory Morrow, Pat Green, Jason Boland, Wade Bowen, The Lost Trailers (my favorite so far) and now Roger Creager! Yes, I'm NOT in Steamboat, but at least I have a little piece of it here at home! That ROCKS! I hope to hear more great acts within the next few nights. It's making time FLY BY. I should be learning Body Flow instead! Oh well.

Richard is TICKED that he's at work these nights that it's on. Poor thing. I'm emailing him with updates though. I'm sure he REALLY appreciates that! LOL!

Crossroads....

Last night, I watched CMT's "Crossroads". I'm not a regular CMT viewer, but I really like this show. Sometimes they have acts on there that I could do without, but last night they had Brad Paisley and John Mayer. As luck would have it, I like both of them and know most of their songs. Brad Paisley is married to Kimberly Williams of "Father of the Bride" fame and she's also on "According to Jim" now. They just make a really cute couple. Brad also co-wrote a song with Pat Green that's on Pat's new album. So, I think he's a pretty cool guy. John Mayer is amazing. I love his voice. An Austin radio station did an interview with him about 2 months ago. He's such a cool and down-to-earth guy. Oh, and any guy that sings songs about bodies being wonderlands and fathers being good to their daughters gets an A+ in my book. :) Anyway, the show was amazing. These guys can play the guitar too! Brad said he'd rather be a guitar player than a singer! John said something that was so entirely true. He said that songs know no boundaries. You can't classify a song as "country" or "pop" until someone sings it to sound that way. John sang Brad's songs and they didn't sound country at all. Brad sang John's songs and they did sound a little more country. So, it really depends on the artist, not the song. Overall, it was a really great show. I loved the playful banter between the two guys. You can tell that they both love what they do and have a wonderful sense of humor about it. Oh, I forgot the best part! Radney Foster was the host! TOO COOL!

Anywho, speaking of music, the BIG SKI TRIP is this week in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Man do I wish I was there! Richard said that we HAVE to leave the girls behind one year and take a trip for ourselves and GO! I'd pack my bags today! hehe! I'm ready! Here's a link if you are confused and have no idea what I'm talking about.

http://www.themusicfest.com/thetrip.html

With the Brad Paisley hoopla last night, Richard is trying to play the first few chords of "Whiskey Lullaby" on his guitar. He's getting better. I don't really care for mainstream country (give me my Texas music!), but I LOVE THAT SONG! Allison Krauss has an angelic voice.

I'm sure you'll see more music-related blogs down the road. Seeing Richard struggling just to play a few chords of a song really makes me appreciate the talent and dedication that so many musicians provide for us.

Sweet Dreams?

When you're pregnant, you dream....A LOT. I've had the craziest of dreams and the sweetest of dreams. Last night (well early this morning), I had a nightmare. I was at a wedding and was thrown into being IN the wedding. I did not want to be there. I cried and cried. Think Rachel showing up for Ross's wedding on "Friends" and almost having to see the love of her life marry someone else. That was me in this dream. It was horrible. It left me emotionally exhausted and therefore I woke up tired this morning instead of rested.

The person getting married in this dream wasn't Richard, but it was someone that I truly care about and someone that I've hurt.....both directly and indirectly. I guess in some ways I was getting a taste of my own medicine. It sucked. What sucks even more is that I could go on and on apologizing to this person my entire life and it still wouldn't undo the hurt. My life took a different path.....one that I never expected. I'm very happy and content in my life....it's one that I'm very proud of. But, to think that I have truly hurt this person upsets me very much. I'm grown now and more apologetic than ever. I understand the extent of the hurt now.....even if I can't ever undo what's already been done.

I'm sorry for rambling but there's a good chance that the person that I'm talking about in this Blog might see this. Just know that I'm sorry. 2005 is a year that I want to start on the right foot. I want it to be a year of new beginnings. And if I have to start here, then so be it.