Thursday Thirteen....

"I figure that if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job." ~Roseanne
(Thanks for the book Margaret! I love it!)

13 things that will never be the same again after you have kids.....

1.) Your sex life- I hate to burst the bubble of those of you that haven't had kids yet, but in all honesty, you have to almost "schedule" it. Really. I'm saying that you have to find time to squeeze it in. You also have to get creative. For example, we got pregnant with Miss Maeve while popping in a Care Bear video for Kyra to watch. You get the picture. ;)

2.) Your potty time- Want to use the bathroom discreetly? Forget it. As soon as I walk in the bathroom, two sets of little feet come trampling in after me. Ugh. Maybe when they are 18 I'll be able to coax them into letting me have some ALONE time in there again.

3.) Your TV time- Three words: Digital Video Recorder or DVR. This is the most wonderful invention in the world for two reasons: 1.) You get to tape all of your favorite shows and watch them UNINTERRUPTED when kiddos are asleep and can FF through the commercials. 2.) You can also tape the kids' shows and provide some entertainment for them in a feeble attempt to get online and check email, message boards, blogs, etc. without any interruptions....if you're lucky.

4.) Your tummy- Unless you are blessed with wonderful skin, your tummy is bound to accumulate a few stretch marks as a result of having those little stinkers. I received a book the other day and in it is a quote from Joyce Armor (who's she?) that says, "Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes." Um thanks, but I'd REALLY rather not have this road map on my belly and have my gorgeous, smooth skin back instead. *sigh*

5.) Your eating time- I swear the kids have a radar. When I try to almost "hide" and eat alone, here they come. Maeve almost "steals" food from me now. Kyra just begs for me to get up and get her something to eat too. Can I eat in peace? No. :(

6.) Your public appearance- Yeah, I like to think of myself as a frumpy mom sometimes. I confess that there have been days that I've put on a t-shirt, shorts, some flip flops, and have barely brushed my hair to go to the store. Makeup? Nope. That takes TIME. And when you have kids, you don't have time. I just want to get to the store, get what I need, and get the heck out of there before a temper tantrum ensues. I don't want to be one of "those moms". However, I'd like to be known as a MILF one day, but that won't happen unless I leave behind my frumpy ways. ;)

7.) Your memory- Oh this is a big one. One word: LISTS. Lots and lots of lists. You'll forget things that you never thought possible. For example, Kyra will come up to me while I'm busy (on the computer) and say, "Mom, I want something to drink." I'll say, "Ok Kyra, I'll get it for you in a minute." I walk away from the computer, put a load of laundry in the dryer, play with Maeve, change her diaper, etc. and about 30 minutes later, Kyra says, "Mom, my drink?" Crap. I forgot. I swear that on some days, I'm losing my mind. Forget alcohol, having kids will cause you to lose a few brain cells. :)

8.) Your bladder- I was lucky (?) enough to have two c-sections, so my babies came out the "back door", but I'm sure those of you that have had vaginal births can relate because we've ALL had kids that have kicked, punched, jumped, and stomped on our bladders while we were pregnant. I still cannot sleep through the night without getting up at least once to use the bathroom. Are you with me? (Please say you are because I DO NOT want to have yet another thing to bring up when I go for my annual in July.) ;)

9.) Your sanity- Once again, I'll confess. With both of the births of my kids, I asked (*coughbeggedcough*) to be put on Zoloft. In all honesty, I think I had mild cases of PPD, and Zoloft was my saving grace for that. And I must say that as time went on, I was glad that I was put on it. It helps me cope with things better. I'm not saying that everyone should be on it. I'm saying that it helped me get through the rough spots when I thought that I couldn't handle another whine or cry from my children. Happy mommy= happy children, right?

10.) Your house- I always thought that I was so neat and organized. Then I had kids and all of that went out the window! LOL! My house is a mess right now, but my kids were bathed, fed, and put to sleep in the most gentle way tonight. They are alive and happy. My messy house will get cleaned sooner or later. The kiddos are what's important. The dishes can wait. The laundry can wait. Their childhoods won't wait though. They grow up in the blink of an eye and I want to be there for every moment of that.

11.) Talking on the phone- Ask Jen about this one. She hears my kiddos in the background when she and I talk on the phone. Usually Kyra is saying, "Is that Papoo? Is that Grandma? Can I talk on the phone?" Maeve is just in awe of the flashing lights on my phone, so she's trying to grab it from me. You get the picture. Many times I've said, "Can I call you back?"

12.) Your pocketbook- The girls each have a closet full of clothes and toys galore to prove it! LOL!

13.) Your heart- No matter how hard things are, that cute smile, that huge hug, that sloppy kiss, and that cheerful "I love you mommy!" make it all worthwhile. :)