Cleansing of the mind.....

I woke up in a really bad mood this morning. Something, or should I say someone has been on my mind now for a while and I think I finally hit a breaking point this morning when all I wanted to do was cry. Richard knew it too. He kept asking me what was wrong. I told him, "Nothing." I just wasn't myself. I won't go into details, but I've been wishing that I could just purge or cleanse my mind of this person forever. It would make life so much simpler. But it hasn't worked out that way. If I verbally tell myself to forget, this person haunts me in my dreams. It's just not fair. I want to forget, but I can't. I guess tumultuous relationships that have a huge impact on your life aren't meant to be forgotten. They can exit your mind, but they can't exit your heart.

I honestly think that I just need a bit of closure and I haven't received that closure yet. I hope to one day come face to face with this person and hear how they feel. Maybe then the both of us can put the past behind us. That's so very important to me. I just want to emotionally be able to move on with my life. I think it's time for change and I hope the person on the other end cares enough about me to want to help me with this.